Looking back

Today,
As usual,
Nothing to do.
Washed my laundry.
Posted some posts,
There's this quote that went into my heart when I read it.
"Don't ever beg someone u love to love u back. It just shows how pathetic u are. If they don't love u, just leave them. Hold ur pride..."
Felt that I really begged to much for his love, his care for me, his attention..
Where it really doesn't work out so well.
As I browse through my old posts when I 1st blogged.
All I could see was,
Everytime he played com games,
Or anything not involved in me.
I'll be mad,
And I don't know why,
This is just me!
Wanted attention so much!!
Maybe it is because mom and dad give all their attention to sis and bro.
But not me,
I felt that I was the "extra" one.
They doted sis, coz she's the eldest among the siblings.
They doted bro, coz he's the youngest and the only male.
Me?
I'm just nothing...
No one loves me..
Even him.
He always tell me how much he loves me.
But in action?
I didn't see that much...
He said "sorry I neglected you"
In action?
Continues to neglect me..
I really felt so tired of my life.
I don't have a goal, a passion to go on living in this world.
God,
Please tell me how to do!
I'm crying inside, suffering...