10 Signs Of An Affair

You may not think that your husband would ever cheat, but you catch yourself looking for signs of an affair. Perhaps you really are just being paranoid over nothing, or perhaps your heart is trying to tell you something. Either way, you may not catch a cheating spouse unless you know just what to look for. ...
So what do you look for to see if your husband might be cheating?

Obvious changes in his attitude or routine might not be the only clues, and these things might not be related to cheating at all.

Looking for signs of an affair is complicated, but here are a few things to keep in mind:

He’s Suddenly Shaving

If your husband’s grooming habits suddenly take a change for the better, then you might have to be concerned that you’re not the one he is trying to impress.

Maybe it is just a little harmless flirting with a cute new girl in the office who makes him feel young again, or maybe it is something worse.

You won’t know just by sniffing him, but you can certainly get your first clue.

He’s Dressing Better

In addition to the new haircut, your husband has thrown out his old suits and is suddenly dressing like a man of the new millennium.

You may be thrilled that he is finally listening to your nagging about his old clothes, but it could be that he has a new woman he is trying to impress with his sense of style.

This could be a sign that he is having an affair.

It is still not time to accuse him of anything, but make the extra effort to be there for him so that he doesn’t feel the need to seek attention elsewhere.

He has a New Favorite

Has your husband started wearing a special something when he goes to a particular place?

Maybe he has a new favorite sweater that he wears golfing all of a sudden or a new bag that he takes to the gym every time.

If this interest in his new favorite does not extend to his dates with you, it could be something that a girlfriend bought him.

There are reasonable explanations for this as well, but if the clues are piling up, you may be getting suspicious.

The Devil is in the Details

Suddenly no one has a name. He was out with “the guys” or “people from work” and doesn’t feel like naming names, adding perhaps that it was just the usual crowd of friends.

He can’t remember the name of the place that they went to for dinner or drinks, either. Suddenly getting details out of your man is like pulling teeth.

Be even more worried if he gives you details and then they change the next time you ask.

This is almost certainly a sign that he is being dishonest.

The Phone becomes a Secret

Suddenly your husband has to leave the room to take a call and his cell phone is suddenly locked.

Perhaps you are noticing other things; maybe he changed his email password or he is always closing windows on his computer when you walk into the room.

Another clue is that he de-itemized the phone bill for no apparent reason.

If you are wondering what he is up to that requires him to be so secretive, you may want to start asking questions.

These could be signs of an affair.

Bored and Preoccupied

He never wants to go out and do things with you, but suddenly he is bored and restless when he is home.

If this fits your husband, it could be because he is thinking about his new fling instead of being in the moment with you and your family.

His behavior could be due to stress from work, but it could also be signs of an affair and a signal that there is marital danger ahead.

He’s Withdrawing from You

Simple signs of affection like holding hands might become few and far between if your husband is having an affair and he may also pull away if you initiate contact.

He might withdraw from conversations with you, leaving you feeling as if you can’t connect with him anymore.

Come to think of it, how long has it been since you two have had sex?

And if the two of you are still having sex, who initiates it?

The Sex is Different

If he still initiates sex, it might be briefer than usual and less passionate.

It might also suddenly be incredible, which could be a reaction to how sexy his new fling makes him feel.

If his libido has suddenly shut off, you should be looking out for other signs of an affair.

Keep in mind that he might just be stressed out or tired and don’t hold it against him if it seems like this is really the case.

Be there for him and offer to give him what he needs.

Nothing Up my Sleeve

Your partner of many years has suddenly learned a new trick in bed.

Once you come down from the rush of a newfound pleasure, ask yourself where he might have learned how to do this new technique.

Sure, he might have seen it on the internet or heard a buddy bragging, but if your man is not the kind to throw in new tricks every now and then, you may want to ask yourself where you think he really learned to touch you like that.

Shifting the Blame

If your husband is suddenly getting defensive, it could be a sign of cheating.

When you ask him why he is late, he launches into a rant about how hard he works and how little you appreciate him, when really you were just curious.

If your husband reacts this way, you may have cause to be curious about something else.

If he starts getting defensive, look out for other behavioral changes and decide how to deal with the situation.

Adding it Up

None of these things are proof positive that your husband is having an affair, but if you are nodding your head to all or many of the signs, you might have to take a serious look at your relationship.

Not every man behaves the same way when he cheats and some men actually get a buzz out of loving more than one woman, but the signs of an affair are still there.

If he is showing signs that he is having an affair, you might want to think about a confrontation.

If you are too uncomfortable to approach him with your suspicions, look for a way to confirm them before you confront him with your proof.

You may not like what he has to say about the state of your relationship, but your diligence and attentiveness may have caught him before the affair progressed into a full blown relationship.

You may even be able to salvage your life together if you confront him early enough.

Finding out that your spouse is cheating is difficult and painful, but imagine how much worse it would be if you were totally unaware of the situation?